Basra, 11th August 2006

Apologies for lack of contact from Iraqistan - but in my defence I have been quite busy (and nor has the postman been overburdened by my incoming mail sacks). Arrived 14 days ago; it seems like about a month. Alas Basrah Palace ain't the boudoir I had imagined it to be. The ever pervading stench of rotting faeces drifting dreamily down the Shatt Al Arab, combined with the delicate tang of diesel from the Warriors and some three day-full Portaloos really add to atmospherics. To cap it all the barber was shot last week leaving nobody to manage the boufon- maybe some kind Iraq was doing the world of style a favour- its currently restricting my ability to put my helmet on. Life is pretty hectic at the moment the good people of Basrah don't seem to be buying into Tony and George's vision of a pro western democratic middle eastern state- but I'm sure that we can make a difference in the next six months. As a result they let off steam by firing rockets and mortars into the camp on a regular basis. Luckily I'm a heavy sleeper so don't get bothered bi it too much- nor do my good bloke room mates pause to wake me as they head for the door or under the bed. At least I get a decent night's sleep and don't have to constantly get in and out of my body armour and helmet- do these Iraqis not realise that I always sleep!

Came to the airport today for a meeting- hence the e-mail- took me eight hours to get here, that works out at about one kilometre per hour (not bad for the Volvo I know) but not what you would expect from a war machine. Three years ago it took 20 minutes with a sun hat on- now I’m wearing Ned Kelly’s cast offs, can barely move my head and arms and have to endure the RAF at three in the morning. I suppose after arriving at five thirty in the morning it was inevitable that I managed to sleep through most of the meeting. A worthwhile trip then. Right must dash off to get some decent food before I return to the dubious luxuries of Basrah Palace and the agonies of the RAF. Sorry for lack of messages from me hopefully everything and everybody will calm down a bit.